i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
