I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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