I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
