Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
