lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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