you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I stole a fireplace last night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
