A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want her autograph on my taint
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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