She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
