their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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