you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
