Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
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just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
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How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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