I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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