I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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