my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
