She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
