Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
