Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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