Yo dont text me then not text me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
