we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize