he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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