I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
