You work out of a Hotel?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
