FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
