so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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