took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
