I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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