I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
