I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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