yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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