After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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