If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
time to smoke my breakfast
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
