Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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