this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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