i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
