Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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