I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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