Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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