State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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