and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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