I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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