Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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