She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
