i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
