Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
