i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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