If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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