Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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