how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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