I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
