At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
