Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
