Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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