Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
