i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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