No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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