That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
this is an emotional support booty call
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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