i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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